There she was, standing on the desk, with her amazingly beautiful keyboard. Every time my mother started typewriting, I felt attracted by the music I could hear once the typeface lifted and touched the paper.
It was like magic for me, how the letters got imprinted, as if they were tattooed into the flesh of that thick, yellow paper. The typewriter taught me the alphabet and the numbers. I was delighted every moment I could touch it and imagine that one day I will be able to write at the same speed that my mother did. It was raw, noisy and magical for me!
My first letter to Santa was written using this typewriter. I must have been 6 or 7 years old. I knew I had to write him, but being afraid he won't understand my handwriting, I told myself that the typewriter will be the perfect tool! And so it was! It took me a whole afternoon to create my letter as finding the letters was no easy job! By the end of it, my hands were filled with ink, as I could not stop touching the Mylar, and the letter stamped with my imprints but I did not care as I knew Santa won't judge me.
I can still remember how proud I felt when my letter was done and when my mother arrived to read it. I can still visualise her tears flowing down her cheek as she read out loud my letter. Like every other child at my age, I made a list. But was a list of what I wanted first, for my family, for the poor children in the world, for the homeless, for everybody else I could think of. Even my dog was supposed to receive a tasty cracker! My desired gift was mentioned at the end. I guess that is what made my mother cry. It might have reminded her of how every child in this world is generous by nature and my letter might have spoken the the small her.
Since that moment, every year at Christmas time, I caught myself in a sort of a melancholia. The small me, the little Cristiana wanted to keep that feeling inside. Growing up older, the feeling kept shrinking and being fogged by other thoughts and emotions and I could sense my inner child was eager to go back to that rawness and authentic feeling.
Having a child determined me to do a lot of work on myself and reconnect with my inner child, bring it into my present life. It also propelled me towards the desire of living the present moment, to live the life as it is. Children can teach us so much, can't they?
When was the last time you sent Santa a letter? How is the child within you, waiting for Christmas? Are you excited, nervous, melancholic?
I would love to hear your thoughts on this! Feel free to comment below or talk to me live here.